Flipping the Tables

Terlingua Tales: Two Jeffs and a Mean Old Bastard

One morning, Old Man Ken wakes up at sunrise, takes a step out the front door and sees a still drunk dude, by the name of Hearing Jeff, sleepin' in a truck that was conveniently parked in his front yard. He rapidly shakes his head left and right, goes back inside briefly, and returns with his tennis shoes on. He quickly walks towards the demon red truck and bangs on the window and as loud as he could state, he said:

"This ain't no campsite! Get your ass up and out of here!"

The beer smelling Hearing Jeff is stirred up a little and slowly begins to rise. He looks like real shit with his hair all matted and his eyes swollen puffy. A Real Living Shit. He takes one long look at Old Man Ken and immediately begins to cough and gag intermittently as one eye shrinks and the other one bulges. He rolls down the window and continues to cough in a violent way that causes Old Man Ken to back away.

"Whoa!....What the hell?..."

The coughing slowly starts to recede and immediately thereafter the beanie headed hairy Hearing Jeff, in an agonizing manner, starts to collect the phlegm lodged in his throat and obnoxiously spits the gnarliest looking dookie on Old Man Ken's sneakers. This causes Old Man Ken to react in a burst of raging anger. He jumps closer to the window and kicks the truck's tire with his phlegm smeared shoe then slams his hands on the hood like a rabid chimpanzee. He exclaims once more with his fists clenched tightly and jerking in front of Hearing Jeff's face.

"You hear me?! I said this ain't no campsite! I'm so god damned sick and tired of you bums bumming off of bums that are already bumming off of other motherfucking bums. I said get your ass up and out of here and I mean now goddammit!"

Hearing Jeff gets out of the truck and responds to the old man as he unzips his pants and commences to urinate on a nearby greasewood bush.

"I know that, you mean old bastard!"

He continues to pee while Old Man Ken is pacing in his steps going four this way, four that way, and stops cold in his tracks as he notices another hairy looking beanie wearing fool show up out of the desert carrying a sleeping bag and a sleeping pad.

"Who the fuck are you?"

The new guy doesn't respond to Old Man Ken's question but does greet Hearing Jeff:"Good Morning Jeff, How'd you sleep?"

Jeff replied coughing once again,
"Like shit...".

The disgruntled old man loses his patience and yells,
"I asked you, 'Who the fuck are you?'!"

Hearing Jeff ignores the old man as he talks directly to the new guy and together they get in the truck as they prepare to depart from Old Man Ken's front yard, when the mean old bastard decides to ask the new guy, who was driving, an important question.

"What!?!? Are you Deaf?!?!"

The new guy rolls down his window and offers Old Man Ken a hand,
"Nice to meet you, I'm Deaf Jeff. Have a good one!"

But of course, Old Man Ken would have none of it.

The two Jeffs look once at the old man, once at each other as they light up cigarettes, and turn forward to face the long and dusty trail that lay ahead. They waved out the window towards Old Man Ken as they drove away watching him through the rear view mirrors. He was standing there with his bewildered self slowly fading away in a cloudy heap of dust.

Aye, yi, yi, yiiiii!
Viva Terlingua!

Hands and Hears

Have you ever...

You know, there is nothing like waking up to a world where The Natural screams supreme. Absolutely nothing! Where the mountains rise steadfast hues of blues with radical rays of sunshine piercing upward from the southeastern horizon. Ah, lo and behold, these are the Chisos, rising up and stretching their arms as if to yawn out the Window and take a deep breath of Dawn's sweet delight. Nothing screams louder!

...And yes,..there was light...while the child stares in awe...

...Ever seen a waterfall of clouds?...
Ever felt water spirit through dry canyon walls?
Ever been to the bottom of the ocean?
Ever thought you'd be one to go?
Ever lived to love it so?
Ever cared for another to know?...
...Have you ever?...
Has it ever......
occurred to you....
...That, you, must be True?
Has it?...
...Has it ever occurred to you?

Perhaps you need to sit down and think about it. You might want to say a prayer or two and do what the heart tells you to. You see the Choice, that is entirely up to you. You can either be an arrogant and stubborn imbecile or you can be True. Like I said, it is all up to you.

Good Morning. eh.

...So as the Sun rose higher and higher, Creosote and Agave began to sip on beads of dew while Jackrabbit hopped through an arroyo. Scaled Quail was perched high upon a hill keeping a wary watch for Old Man Coyote, who had, through much of the night, scattered Quail's humble flock. Up higher are Vultures on the ridge with their wings spread out basking in the morning warmth, anxiously waiting to get about their Scavenger Hunt.

Dawn has passed and the skies are blue, the Clouds unseen, the Wind absent, and for one moment, yes, just one, all the world was reverently silent for the Truth. In that one moment, the Truth had this to say:

You cannot run from yourself. You cannot hide your shame. You cannot chose another to blame. You have only yourself to hold responsible for the things you have chosen. You must bear these things for they have your name on them. You must accept what you have been given and what you have chosen of it. Learn and move onward. Another dawn awaits. Seasons come and go.

The Wind picked up and started to whisper while some clouds were being born, "Ever seen things change?"

I love this Desert.
The best Teacher anyone could EVER have.