Music to my Eyes.

Something happened today that does so happen often with me. I'd like to share with you a few thoughts regarding this recurring happenstance.

You see...

...many a time I catch people trying to see if I'm really deaf. These people usually do so approaching me from behind or when I'm preoccupied with something. They like to do it when they feel they have the chance to do so without being caught and it doesn't really bother me because I understand that they are either puzzled or confused with my telling them that I am deaf.

Same old story, same old explanation.

It's doesn't matter how many times or how many ways you can educate them about what being deaf is, in one's case, really all about. It matters little how much expertise, experience, or research you have done as that person of a people, namely the Deaf.

Smile.

You will be discredited either way because you're not representative of the Deaf and neither are you representative of the hearing. You're pretty much busy with answering the same old shite that they keep forgetting they had already asked.

How'd you become deaf?
Were you born deaf?
How come you can talk?

They want to get kids, deaf kids, to speak and hear. By saying hear,..they want to get them to respond to sounds whether or not the sounds are representative of those the hearing hear.

Ha! Twisted Twizzler.

You get a deaf child, let say with a "moderate" to "severe" hearing loss and you get them to use hearing aids and speech therapy. You get 'em quacking and yapping and mimicking and mirroring and you tell 'em that is the way it is to be "normal". You do this from the age of 2 to about High School. You get 'em smart and "successful" and then you tell them to go out to the world and be free.

ha ha ha ha
HA HA HA HA

Then you get those questions. Time and time and time again. Then you get those tests they do behind your back. Then you get 'em asking those same fucking questions that you answered the last time you saw them.

"Now, Jeff, were you born deaf?"

Yes, Jerry, for the third time,...I was born deaf.

"Well,..umm I just don't see how you can read my lips because you speak so well."

Ahem,...I'll tell you what,...maybe I should start bullshitting you, Jerry, and just stop using my voice and start signing. Let's say we do that and I'll maintain the same level of conversation with you only I will be using sign language. If we do that, are you honestly going to be as patient with me as I have with you and the rest of the god damn hearing world?

"Jeff, I think I understand what you mean and I respect you for being you because you have a gift. Sometimes I wish I were deaf because you know, there are times you just don't want to hear a thing. You know what I mean?"

LOL...LMAO!

Alright, so you, my reader, you see where I am getting at. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. The main idea is, hey, even if you get 'em, deaf children, talking and able to use a piece of technology, they, 'em herring, will STILL not believe you are telling the Truth. You can't be deaf. You must be hard of hearing. You must be hearing impaired. You're lying.

Cops asking me stuff in the dark with a flashlight in my face.

Homeland Security pulls me over at the checkpoint cause I asked them to repeat the question three times.

Local talk has it that I'm scamming them about my being deaf.

Then the in-betweens and the uncertain,...
They test me and they get caught.
Yep, ain't it so!

OR:

I had a buddy, Carl, who hollered my name about the same time I felt compelled to look back. Look back I did and there we go again. "See...you can hear!"

No nah naw
Hey now!

That's Bullshit.

Now lets go in another direction. I decide to sign and not use my voice. I maintain, or try to maintain, my patience. I'll sign and teach them. I'd put 'em on the boards like I would a racehorse. What are the chances this horse is gonna keep running? Will they quit? Will they continue?

I have yet to bet on a winner.

You see, because I speak so well and because I was trained so well to communicate with the hearing. I'm stuck and damned by them and their doubts. Always testing, or for others, always hoping. They want a child to become assimilated or immersed in that crap while the Sad Sun shines.

It's really a trip!

And say, did I ever tell you about the time I was 24 and riding in the car with my old man. There was some loud noise outside or on the radio or something that startled him and I reacted to his reaction. Well, can you guess what he asked me:

"Did you hear that?"

Sigh.

Forgive them for they know not what they do. And I try to do that every day. I try to let it slide and let it go but the more I think about that "hearing impaired" kid in the front row of his/her classroom at a "mainstream" program. Lined up like he/she were just like them. That's a LIE! The children, often, believe in that lie because it is, after all, a hearing world. It is easier to get them to believe that shit if you get at them when they're younger, try the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause. Not a hard one to understand, aye?

So should I sit down and shut up?
Should I let parents listen to the "specialists" and the "experts"?
Should I not care?

Am I supposed to forget what they told me to be true, which in the end, wasn't true?
The same lies their spreading to this day.

Honestly, I can't let this go unsaid. I can't afford to let another set of parents be manipulated and another child twisted up. It is a shame that they continue to allow this to happen.

Twist and Shout!
C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!
Baby Now!...

And you wondered why there are so many pathological liars in the deaf community...

Howdy!
Adios...

If you can feel the rage in my writing then you need to share this with parents of deaf children because I'm sure as hell they don't want their child to be like me. I want them to understand that what they might be choosing for their child can amount to some years of unpleasantness. You should listen to the soul of the deaf child before you throw them into the hands of the arrogant hearing world order. You, as parents, deserve to understand when a deaf person says:

A visual language is music to my eyes.