You're a bad man, Charlie Barnes.

No, really guys, Charlie Barnes ain't a bad man.

He just allows himself to fade away into the terrible wastes of the human mind that naturally bring one upon the "could haves and should haves" of their past. The distateful memories and perhaps the stinging pain of a lost childhood. As if one chooses to make company with Sorrow and Gloom rather than to elope with Joy and Happiness. So, there, the floodgates are opened and the alcohol comes quickly raging after the remaining brain cells of what once was a bright light.

Aye...

I can relate in more ways than one and to deny that my shit stinks only makes a roaring hypocrite out of me. I mean, sure, everyone has their own hefty baggage that they tend to drag around with them wherever they go, but not everyone learns how to deal with it in a healthy way. I took my rebellious youth and made a jump-start into what has become the life of an alcoholic. Mexico means Tequila, baby! Tuh kill ya!

Yep, you read that right!
ALCOHOLIC.

Some abhor the consumption of alcohol.
Some can take a couple drinks and hang on to sobriety.
Some drink to take a HIGH dive into an empty pool.

Puro crash and burn, dude...

You see, I waver between the last two of the three but whoooey- this guy wakes up to pissed on pants, a loss of memory, a gnarly headache, and a mournful sentiment. of course, you'll only see me walking around like I "give a flying fuck." But honestly,..deep and down,..I'm tired of this shit. I need that bright light if the forecast of the future says: Dark and Cold.

I know there IS more in me than I might be willing to recognize and in order to attain such goodness (not for the self but for the whole), I should step aside from my selfish ways and consider the good I can share with my community and loved ones.

I've said it many times before, I know...(sigh)

Listen, YO! Forget about the things that you wish you coulda done differently and focus on the things that you CAN DO NOW. So what am I doing now? I'm telling you that we all need each other more than we ever have, because, as I see it, the world is changing in ways that has moved us far from to root of our existence. By that I mean, we are divided into categories that continue to further divide us beyond acknowledging that every such division makes it furthermore difficult to come together for a common NEED.

We NEED loving sustenance.
We NEED honest conversation.
We NEED mutual respect.
We NEED love for self and others.

I know, I know,..you probably think it really sounds like some cheesy and corny assed hippy dippy sermon that sings to a empty choir but that is perfectly fine with me, you're entitled to your own and I respect that.

I'm trying,..I really am.

The point I'm trying to reach is: no matter the burden or the size baggage you haul around, we ain't got much time to waste away any more. I mean, do we really want to let the greedy machine of the artificial consume us or do we want to get back to the balance of Life as created?

Sure, Man would argue that it is his duty to improve the world for the sake of progress. Yet, what progress we have attained is merely an illusion that reinforces the very selfishness that separates us from each other. Billions of people no longer listen to the moon and the stars. The birds and bees. The clouds and the rain. The wind and the trees. The streams and the rivers. The tides and the seas.

For with the likes of me, I feed on pain and anger because I think society is pretty fucked up and brainwashed which often leaves me hopeless. So hopeless that I allow it to convince me that its better to get drunk and pass out with the world that is knocked out cold from the truth that sustains goodness.

Who could have a lamer and lousier excuse than that?

Me?
Charlie Barnes?

Nah.
You see it is no one individual or entity.
It is each and every one of us...togetha.

My Part: I can only awaken my own consciousness further and become an example in that which I believe to be just. I write these things because it must be done. I NEED to contribute towards the us and we more than the I and me. I know there is goodness in all people and that everyone is a victim of some sort.

So, Charlie, I'll tell you what I'm telling myself right now. We got to forgive ourselves and start looking ahead. Excuses won't last because the Truth always seeps in like the piss of a drunk that finds comfort in the pants of a pissant.

So stop evading facts with the idea that it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. In the real world, that's a lie because getting pissed off will getcha pissed on. Ultimately, we ALL have more to offer ourselves and our community and I, speaking for myself, am going to try to work on improving my place in it because these life and times together are too precious to let anger and hate destroy what GOOD there IS in it.

Of course, I'm only saying these things because I love you and to better love you all, I must love and respect myself first and foremost. Hopefully the examples we make and share will change the forecast of Tomorrow and our children may relish Life in the purest and fullest of means.

Even so,..
What do I know?